A personal transformation.....

Dick was reminiscing the other day and we were laughing about the way I was when I first went to work for him. I was a good worker, accomplished in the 'physical' things I did - i.e. typing, accounting, writing - BUT don't ask me to TALK!!! Shortly after going to work for Dick he asked me to make a series of phone calls to set up appointments for prospective managers. I literally froze. ME! On the phone with strangers! I waited until everyone had gone home for the evening, shut myself in an empty private office and stammered my way through the calls, sick to my stomach, and with clammy hands. I hated it. To say I got slightly better over time is about as good as I could say about my progress and I never got over the panic and nervousness of making calls even when we started to build the first motel in Carbondale, Illinois and I had to call the suppliers and contractors on a daily basis.

Standing up and talking in front of people was even worse and I'll never forget being taken to a NewComers meeting in Carbondale and after the meal, they announced that they were going to go around the table and wanted each newcomer to stand up, give their name and where they worked, and their husband's name and where he worked. I was about half way around the table and by the time it got to me, I honestly thought I would throw up in front of everyone. I stood up, said my name was Margaret Topper, I worked at the Best 7 Inn and my husband's name was John!!! Somehow my fuddled brain recognized I had goofed, so I simply announced that 'he worked' and sat down. I absolutely could not remember where (and you all know we worked together).

Obviously this girl needed help, so when I joined BPW, I found that they had a class to help with public speaking. The first 'speech' I was asked to give at that class wasn't too bad, as we were allowed to read it and had it on the podium in front of us. I got terrible marks though on my deportment. Just because I was hunched over the podium and hugging it. I was doing this to stop myself from shaking so bad I couldn't read my paper. I did improve and ended up winning the local prize at the end of the year, going on to win the district award and competed for the State Award.

If any of you are interested, this was the speech: The subject I was given was RESOURCEFULNESS.

We have all heard so much lately about Natural Resources and how we waste and misuse them, and of course they are referring to such things as the land, air, water and raw materials. But have you ever stopped to think about how we human beings also have Natural resources and how we waste and misuse them?

We were given eyes, and if all we use them for are to see the faults in other people, or see the things we desire, or would grab or steal from others, - and fail to see the beauty of a winter tree against a sunset sky, or the majesty of a mountain, or the trust in a little dog's eyes, or friendship when it comes to us in a shy smile, then we are not using our resources.

We were given ears, and if all we use them for are to hear the plain, spoken word, or the harsh sounds of rock music, and we don't use them to hear the orchestration of birds singing, babbling brooks, and the wind in the trees, or we don't hear the magic of a child's laugh, or love when it comes to us in a quiet spoken word, then we are not using our resources.

And we were given Intelligence, and if this is simply a matter or learning our ABC's or the 1-2-3's, and Mount Everest is the highest mountain in the world, and we don't use it to learn about ourselves, and what makes us tick, and thereby become better human beings, or we don't use it to learn about our fellow man, and thereby become more compassionate, then we are not using our resources.

And we were given Imagination - and if this is turned into daydreaming, of being a movie star, or a millionaire, or President of the United States, and not used to devise ideas to save your boss money, or to get along better with your fellow worker, or to improve your marriage, raise your children, write speeches, then we are not being resourceful.

We were given Humor, and if the only thing that makes us laugh is slapstick, pie in the face, other people's accidents, and we fail to see the humor of a kitten's antics, or in a quiet witty remark, or we fail to see the humor in ourselves, then are not being resourceful.

And we were given Love, and if love is simply a matter or receiving and getting away with things because we receive it, and is not a matter of giving, caring, sharing, generosity, compassion and just plain loving, then we are not being resourceful.

And most of all we were given God, and if all we use Him for is to turn to when we want something, to berage when we don't get it, and to curse in anger; and we don't use Him as the source of strength in our every day lives, or the source of peace when things do go wrong, and as our Friend who we share all our joys and all our sorrows with, then we are most certainly not being resourceful.

I can remember a couple of years ago, my husband and I were flying to a small town in Nevada, and anyone who has driven through or flown low over Nevada, knows of its barreness, emptiness and lack of productivity. And yet as we approached this small town, it was an amazing sight of lush green fields of crops and vegetation. I can remember my husband looking down and saying, now that what I call resourcefulness.

I hope that when the good Lord looks down on my - and you - that he doesn't see an empty, barren, non-productive piece of humanity, but sees an oasis of productivity, energy, awareness, compassion, understanding, imagination, sensitivity and love. I hope He can say "Now that's what I call Resourcefulness.